Series of Abnormal Events
by samthecg
Summary: I have completed PART 9!! With the help of my trusty sidekick, Tara! This chapter contains the crew from the Magic School Bus! Cool! And the nurses finally arrive at the hospital! Yay! More in store!
1. Evil Deeds, Kitkatz and Donuts!

The Series of Abnormal Events  
  
Chapter 1: The Evil Antics of Dr. Weaver. Part one.  
  
Note: I have warned you, don't say I haven't. This story plot was formed in my friend, Kitkatz, weird mind. She made the characters way different than on the show. Please don't be insulted. If you are, don't yell at me. Review one of Kitkatz' stories and rant there. I have merely developed the story cause it was funny. Kitkatz doesn't watch the show. All she knows are the characters that I go on and on about. All the time. This is my first fanfic (like you haven't heard that before!) and I like reviews. Flame me if you want, I don't care, just r/r. Each chapter will come kinda slowly, but they won't be continuing. Just lots of stories combined under one name.  
  
Disclamer: This is for my entertainment only. I'm not making any money and I don't own the characters. Too bad. If I did, the show would be soooo different.  
  
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Regis: Who is the ruler of the world a) George W. Bush b) Kitkatz c) Dr. Weaver or d) God? Those are your choices, Kerry.  
  
Kerry: That's a hard one Regis, but I'll have to say c) Dr. Weaver.  
  
Regis: Is that your final answer?  
  
Kerry: Yep. C), final answer.  
  
Regis: That is the-  
  
Dr. Weaver wakes up on the couch in the lounge of County General.  
  
Kerry: Aw, shoot! I wanted the million. That was a strange dream.Who's Kitkatz? *Looks at her watch.* 2:07 pm. Only six hours left in the shift. What should I be doing? *She opens her schedule book and flips through the pages.* Evil deeds, staff meeting, evil deeds, lunch, nap. Ah, there it is. 2:00pm. Evil deeds! Well, that settles it. I just love committing evil deeds! *She gets up from the couch and exits the lounge. She walks around the eerily empty ER. Only Frank is there, eating a donut.* WHERE IS EVERYONE!!!!! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE WORKING!!!! YOU'RE SLACKERS, EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU!!!  
  
Frank: Hey, I'm here!  
  
Kerry: I DON'T GIVE A DAMN! Hmmm. Where do they go to get away from me? Not the lounge, I was just there. Doc's is out. They wouldn't hang out around ashes. I know! The roof! They always go up there! To the roof!  
  
After the difficult climb to the roof, she finds what she was looking for. Susan, Luka, Carter and Abby are up on the roof, drinking coffee and eating donuts.  
  
Kerry: WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE WORKING! ANSWER ME! *Every one is kinda freaked out, and doesn't say anything.* Start talking! SOMEONE?!  
  
Susan: *Waits a bit, but starts hesitantly.* Down there was no fun! There are no patients and Frank didn't give us donuts! We didn't want to be around a pig, so we bought our own donuts and came up here.  
  
Kerry: You'd better get back down there as fast as your lazy butts can go, or you'll be out of a job! *No one moves.* GO!  
  
Susan, Abby, Luka and Carter trudge over to the door, muttering curses under their breath.  
  
Kerry: Excellllllent. *Taps fingers like Mr. Burns.* I've done an evil deed. I don't actually care what they do, it was just fun to ruin their good time. Kerry-1, good-0. *Looks at her schedule again.* I've got evil deeds schedualed until 4, then I need to see a patient or two, ooh! Evil deeds till the end of the shift! I think there's time to go see some surgeons. I can't wait!  
  
Kerry descends the stairs until she sees surgery's floor. She goes over to a nurse who's doing nursy stuff.  
  
Kerry: Sorry to bother you, but can you tell me if that *points to a name on a chart* surgery has started?  
  
Nurse: Well, it hasn't started yet. It is about to start though.  
  
Kerry: Thank you for giving me some time out of your "busy schedule" to listen to me.  
  
Nurse: I was working!!!  
  
Kerry: Right, uh hun, whatever you say.  
  
The nurse let out a little annoyed grunt. Kerry walks over to the OR and sees two doctors just about to anaesthetize a patient. She opens the doors and creeps up behind them. She grabs their masks and pulls them together. CRAAAACK!  
  
Kerry: *The doctors fall to the floor, seemingly unconscious. She turns toward the frightened patient.*  
  
Patient: Please don't kill me! I wanna live!  
  
Kerry: Yeah, right! Don't have the time. You do know your surgery is now postponed, don't you? Cause they'll be the ones needing surgery now! AHAHAHAHAHA! Now it's time to think up another plan. Bye!  
  
She walks out of the OR, the nurse giving her evil glances. Kerry doesn't seem to care at all. She's trying very hard to think up another evil scheme. She decides a coffee might help, so she goes over to the cafeteria. She get's a coffee and sits down at a table.  
  
Kerry: Maybe something in her might give me an idea. Hmmmm. Old doctors drinking coffee, a lady crying, more doctors drinking coffee. What's with them and coffee? I'll have to put laxatives in that one day. Right, need to stay focused. Sweethearts kissing, ugh! More lazy-ass doct- Wait! That's it! How did I not catch that? I'll bug Carter, the only one I can do so to easily. And I'll do it by acting as if I love him! I am sooo smart! That'll get to him! Only an evil genius like me could come up with such a good plan! I rock!  
  
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Meanwhile, the staff are "working" in the ER. Susan's trying to steal Frank's donut, Luka's wandering around aimlessly, looking for a patient or something to do. He can't even listen to the gossip mill cause for some strange reason, the nurses have disappeared (except Abby, of course.) Carter won rock, paper, scissors and got the only patient. A guy with a pimple the size of a tomato on his forehead. Abby has got a huge grin on her face. She's staring at Carter, thinking about how much she loves his cheeks. Yes, his cheeks. She's got major issues.  
  
Susan: Come on, Frank! Just one donut! Pleeeeeeeeease!  
  
Frank: No! These are special donuts. Someone made them just for me!  
  
Susan: Righhhhhhhhht! Fork one over. I'm really hungry!  
  
Frank: NO!  
  
Susan: You are such a spoilsport. You're as bad as Weaver!  
  
Frank: You didn't say what I think you said, did you?!  
  
Susan: Yep! You're just as bad as Weaver!  
  
Frank: Take that back! *He gets up and starts to chase her.*  
  
Susan: AHHHHHHHHH!  
  
Luka and Carter (Abby's still looking at his cheeks) Turn to see what's going on.  
  
Luka: Ooooh! A fight! Cool!  
  
Since everyone is wrapped up in the action, nobody notices Kitkatz the koopatroopa walk in.  
  
Kitkatz: What is going on here? I thought this was a hospital.  
  
Man with pimple: So did I, but I'm the only patient all day and these crazy so-called doctors are getting restless.  
  
Abby: Hey another patient! *Runs over to Kitkatz.* Wow! A patient! I'll get a chart! Hey everyone! Another patient!  
  
Staff: A patient?!  
  
Luka: She's mine!  
  
Susan: No me!  
  
Luka and Susan keep bickering over Kitkatz. Carter has to come over and separate them.  
  
Carter: You are so immature. Why don't you work on her together?  
  
Abby: Yeah! Work on her together!  
  
Kitkatz: STOP! If you hadn't fought over me, you might have noticed that I've repeatedly said that there's nothing wrong with me.  
  
Staff: Oh.  
  
Luka: That's kind of disappointing. We're really bored.  
  
Kitkatz: I can see that. Wanna tell me what's going on here?  
  
Susan: Well, this morning we were happy cause there was like no one here but the nurses and us. Then Frank wouldn't give any of his "special" donuts to use, so we had to buy our own. When we came back the nurses had gone home and we went up to the roof. Dr. Weaver found us and sent us back down here. We've been really bored since then.  
  
Kitkatz: Hmm. Well I can't help you. Can I stay though? Maybe I can liven the place up?  
  
Luka: Okay. At least you can't make it less boring around here. We've hit an all time low.  
  
Everyone goes back to what they were doing. Kitkatz is waving her wand around.  
  
Kitkatz: Hey Susan. Want some "special" donuts? I'm the one who made them for Frank before your shift. They never run out.  
  
Susan: Really? Thanks!  
  
Kitkatz conjures up some donuts for Susan and goes off to help Luka.  
  
Kitkatz: Luka! I've got something for you to do!  
  
Luka: Really! Cool. What is it?  
  
Kitkatz: I want you to. uh. beat this video game for me! *She hands him a gameboy advance with Zelda in it.* I just can't beat this part!  
  
Luka: Okay. I'll help. *He goes over to chairs and starts to immerse himself in the game.*  
  
Kitkatz: *To self.* I've helped Susan and Luka. Frank I helped a few hours ago. Abby is entertaining herself and so is Carter. One last spell to spice things up.  
  
Kitkatz walks over to Carter and Abby. Carter is still working on getting the pimple off.  
  
Carter: *Snip, snip.* I've almost triumphed over the pimple! This next cut will remove it completely. Abby, can you get me a basin to put the pimple in when I take it off?  
  
Abby: Whatever you say, John. *She gets the basin.* Here you are. One basin.  
  
Carter: *Snip, snip* There! I got it off!  
  
Abby: Ewwww. It's leaking. That is so gross. We should send it up to pathology.  
  
Carter: I will, don't worry. But I want to examine it first.  
  
Kitkatz: I could make it more interesting.  
  
Carter: How?  
  
Kitkatz: Like this! *Waves her wand around. The pimple turns in to a brain!*My work here is done! Bye staff of County General! See you soon!*  
  
Everyone: Bye!  
  
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There's part one of this story! I hope you liked it! There's more on the way. I've written more, but can't post it as a part. It's not quite long enough yet. Gonna go back to writing now. Oooh. And please email me at happythehippo48@hotmail.com. I will respond. I promise! 


	2. Blimps, Boredom and Nurses!

The Series of Abnormal Events  
  
Chapter 1: The Evil Antics of Dr. Weaver. Part two.  
  
Hey again! Here's the second part! I really wanna finish this story, so I can get started on other ideas. Some of them are John Carter, Pokemon Master and Martha Stewart Living: Special Guest: The Staff from County General's ER. Good ideas? Yes? No? Maybe so? Tell me if you think so. Also if you have ideas and don't feel like writing them, tell me. I'll do it for you and give you credit. Please R/R! I have a lot to do, so I'd better start writing. Happy reading!  
  
Disclamer: See part one.  
  
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(Now I bet that most of you are wondering where the nurses went. Now that I think about it, probably not, but I don't care. You're gonna find out anyway. Cause I'm gonna tell ya. Unless you don't read. But please read. PLEEEAAASE?)  
  
The nurses, (actually just Haleh, Randi, Yosh and Malik,) had decided that working in the ER today was pointless cause there were no patients and Abby could cover for them if one came in. So they went off to have some fun. They go to a football game. This is what it was like at half-time.  
  
Yosh: God this sucks. Why didn't we go to a musical. Like the Lion King or Chicago or something.  
  
Malik: Hey! This is a great game.  
  
Randi: Who are you kidding? This is like the number one thing not to do in your free time. Why are we here?  
  
Haleh: It was free entry, that's why! When something is free, it's waaaaaay better.  
  
Yosh: Imagine what it would be like if we had paid.  
  
Randi: Oh God! That would be number one! What should we do?  
  
Malik: Hey! I got me a good idea!!!  
  
Haleh: You? An idea?  
  
Randi: Miracles do happen.  
  
Malik: Lets go sneak into that blimp, over there!  
  
Yosh: Are you crazy?  
  
Malik: It's called mental illness, thank you very much.  
  
Yosh: Whatever. That blimp is in the air! How would we get in?  
  
Haleh: I've got an idea! Since our second choice was rock climbing, I brought grappeling hooks for everybody. We can throw 'em into the air and pray that they grab onto the blimp.  
  
Haleh gives everyone the grappeling hooks and tells them how to throw them really high.  
  
Haleh: I'll go first. *She throws the hook underhand really high.* *Kachink!* There. I did it. You can too.  
  
Yosh: Won't we get caught. We'll get arrested. The horrors!  
  
Randi: You are such a wimp. Anyways, nobody's here. The teams are in their change rooms and the halftime act really sucks. Anybody that was here the first half are already gone, or getting something to eat. We won't get caught.  
  
Yosh: Okay. Yeah, I guess that makes sense.  
  
Malik: I'm throwing my hook. *He throws it exactly like Haleh.* *Kachink!* Yay! It went in! I did it!  
  
Randi: Good for you. Now I get to throw mine! *She throws hers up the same way.* *Kachink!* Yeeees! I did it. Go me, go me! Your turn, Yosh. (pause) Go already! We don't have all day!  
  
Yosh: Okay. I'll try. But I'm not very good at throwing things. *He gets ready to throw.* One. Two. Three!  
  
He tries to throw it into the blimp, like everyone else. But he misses. It started falling rapidly in the direction of a fat guy whose walking into the stadium, hands full with beer, nachos, some hotdogs and other stadium related food.  
  
Yosh: Head's up!  
  
The fat guy turns to see what's going on. He looks up and sees a metal grappeling hook aimed for his head. He turns to get out of the way, but by doing so, puts his beloved food in the line of fire. And it's hit. There's food flying every where. Nachos, beer, chips, popcorn. Just a lot of food  
  
Fat guy: My food! My poor, beloved food.  
  
As he's trying to salvage what he can, Randi runs over and grabs the grappeling hook.  
  
Randi: Sorry 'bout that mister. Gotta go!  
  
Fat guy: *Starts chasing her. Albeit, extremely slowly.* Hey you get back over here! Buy me more food!  
  
Randi: Hey guys, it'll take him about five minutes to get over here. We gotta go. He could smush us all! *She throws Yosh's hook.* Yosh, climb up. Same with everyone else. Let's go.  
  
Right before they get to the top, the fat guy is right below them.  
  
Fat guy: You're supposed to buy me more food! I'll have you arrested!  
  
Haleh: Hey mister. She did you a big favour. Maybe if you start eating properly, you won't die before you're thirty five! C'mon guys. Let's see what's in this blimp.  
  
They climb in and are in awe with what they see.  
  
(Do you really think I'm gonna tell you what's inside the the blimp now? I'm not crazy. Cliffhangers are fun. Though this isn't much of a cliffhanger, is it? No one's gonna die. Or are they?)  
  
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Meanwhile, in the ER.  
  
Everyone's having a ton of fun. Frank and Susan are eating donuts. Luka's playing Zelda, Carter's dissecting a brain and Abby's discharching the patient.  
  
Susan: That Kitkatz is so nice. Kind of weird, but nice. I've never seen anyone who had a real magic wand. And thesse donuts. They taste so good. Best ever, I think. Do you agree, Frank?  
  
Frank: Um-huh *Sounds like his mouth is full.*  
  
Abby: You can go, now, Mister.  
  
Man: Thank god. This place is really weird.  
  
Abby: You can say that again.  
  
Man: This play is really weird.  
  
Abby: I wasn't talking literally, you idiot. Now leave, if you want to so bad.  
  
The man runs out the doors, escaping the now paitient-less ER.  
  
Abby: Awwwww. Now there's nothing to do. Not even one patient. Luka: But I still have my game  
  
Carter: And I have a brain to dissect.  
  
Abby: But Kitkatz didn't give me anything to do.  
  
Carter: Cause you were staring at my cheeks.  
  
Abby: But that's boring now. Your cheeks don't do anything.  
  
Carter: Hey. That hurt.  
  
Abby: I didn't say they weren't beautiful.  
  
Abby: I guess I'll watch TV. Even though Sunday TV sucks.  
  
Abby ficks around to random channels  
  
Abby: Flyfishing. BOOOOORING! *flicks* Martha Stewart Living. Okay. That's worse. *flicks again* Oooh infomercial. That's better.  
  
Everyone's now busy and for the second time, someone sneaks in, unnoticed. But it's someone nobody wants to see. Dr. Weaver.  
  
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I think that I can end that part there. You know, I have new found respect for the people who write really long fanfics. I didn't realize that it takes so long. Mine is already nine pages long. And compaired to others, that's short. I know what I'm doing in the next part, so I should get writing. Remember. R/R. Thanx. -Sammie 


	3. Tim Hortons, Video Games and Trashing!

The Series of Abnormal Events  
  
Chapter 1: The Evil Antics of Dr. Weaver. Part three. Hey ppls who are reading this! I'm really, really excited right now. Cause I got reviewed! Thank you. Reviews are so nice. And thanks specifically to Silent Tears for the review and Cassi and Sven for ideas. I just luvvvvvv your fics. Slilent Tears too. I didn't forget you. I will use the ideas. I wasn't sure how to put Romano in, but this is good. (Don't be offended if I don't write him well. I'll try my best.) Thank you. Do you want me to kill him. Cause I can. I got the power! Oh no. I've got Battleflag playing right now. That song isn't really sad, but *sniff, sniff,* it evokes sad thoughts. Poor Carter. Think happy thoughts. Happy, happy, happy. Okay. I'm good. Have I rambled? It's a habit of mine. Oh right. Now for the third part. Read on.  
  
P.S. Romano still has his arm. That whole arm thing didn't happen.  
  
Disclamer: You don't get it yet? I don't own 'em. Poor me. But I can write fanfics. Hee, hee!  
  
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Hmm. Where should I start. Ah. Never mind. I'll start with the nurses.  
  
The nurses climb into the blimp and are in awe with what they see. The blimp isn't extraordinary, but the person (can I call her that?) inside is.  
  
Kitkatz: Who are you? You're staring. That's very rude.  
  
Malik: You're like my dreams. I knew you were real!  
  
Kitkatz: Of course I'm real.  
  
Malik: They thought I was crazy! I told you she was real!  
  
Kitkatz: You are crazy, just less than first presumed. But still crazy. If you others would stop gawking long enough, I might talk to you, and tell you why I haven't thrown you out of the blimp.  
  
The nurses gawk for a bit, but eventually regain their composure. Haleh talks first.  
  
Haleh: Wh..Who are you? I mean what are you? I mean, uh, uh.  
  
Kitkatz: I'm Kitkatz. A girl koopa-troopa. And I'm magical!  
  
Randi: Wow. This is cool. Can you do anything?  
  
Kitkatz: Pretty much. I guess I'm like the unknown ruler of the world.  
  
Yosh: Really? That's kinda scary if you think about it. So why are we still in this blimp. Why didn't you throw us out.  
  
Kitkatz: Cause I get really bored all my myself in a blimp and you people looked pretty bored too. So I thought it'd be better to have some company. Randi: But you didn't ask us to come up here. We came up ourselves. With these grappeling hooks.  
  
Kitkatz: On the contrary. Since I can do anything, I subconsciously told you to come up here and join me.  
  
Malik: Really?  
  
Kitkatz: No. I was just happy to have anyone up here to talk to. You did come up by yourselves. But I am still magic.  
  
Yosh: Can you make us something to eat?  
  
Kitkatz: Do you mind donuts? They're my specialty. *Waves wand around.* There you are. Fresh donuts from Timmy's.  
  
Haleh: Timmy's? Where's Timmy's  
  
Kitkatz: Timmy's. Tim Hortons? (Pause) No. Okay then. Tim Hortons is a Canadian coffee shop. It would make sense that I eat there, considering I am Canadian.  
  
Randi: *Stuffing her face with donuts.* Yum. These ah goob. *Swallows.* Apple Fritters are the best!  
  
Yosh: I like Boston Creams.  
  
Haleh: Old fashioned sugar are my favourite.  
  
Malik: No. Double chocolate rules!  
  
Yosh: Oh yeah. Thanks for the donuts.  
  
Haleh, Malik and Randi: Yeah. Thanks.  
  
Kitkatz: No problem. Now, I have control of a blimp, and don't know where to go. Got any ideas?  
  
Malik: How 'bout we go to.  
  
(Yet again. I make a really bad cliffhanger. Really, only because I haven't decided where they should go. If you have an idea, email me or post it in a review. It would help tremendously.)  
  
*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\* I'm doing another note. These must get annoying. But I don't write these all at once so new things always pop up. Kitkatz wanted me to put myself in the fic. So I will. But not now. Later. I think that I will now continue.  
  
Back in the ER!  
  
To freshen your memories, Kerry snuck into the ER, unnoticed.  
  
Everyone is so wrapped up in what they're doing, nobody notice Kerry walk into the ER. First she goes to Luka, in chairs.  
  
Kerry: Hello Dr. Kovac. What are you doing?  
  
Luka: Nothhhhhing. Hee hee. *Hides the gameboy in his pocket, but doesn't save first.* See? *Shows his hands.* Nothing!  
  
Kerry: Hmm. I don't believe you. Well I can't prove that you were doing something, for all I know you were thinking about sex.  
  
Luka: *Trying to sound convincing.* How did you guess? Is it that obvious?  
  
Kerry: No. I'm just good at reading peoples minds. Anyways. I want you to see something. Go over, near Carter and Abby and sit down. I'll be there soon.  
  
Luka: Alright.  
  
Luka walks over to Carter and Abby. Kerry is beginning to walk towards Susan and Frank when a yell so loud it rocked the building was heard.  
  
Kerry: What in the hell was that?  
  
Luka: Nooooooooo. Not my game! I couldn't have lost it!  
  
Susan: Luka, what did you do?  
  
Luka: Kitkatz gave me a video game to play cause I was bored. I got very close to beating the last boss when Kerry came over to talk to me. I put the gameboy in my pocket so that Kerry wouldn't see it. I was going to start to play it again, but when I took it out of my pocket, the screen was black. And I didn't save. Arggggh! That sucks!  
  
Kerry: Serves you right. Playing video games.  
  
Susan: That must really suck.  
  
Luka: I wanna beat it soooo bad. I better start now.  
  
Luka walks over to Carter and Abby, who didn't seem to be distracted by Luka's scene. It was like they didn't hear it at all. They weren't the only ones who didn't hear it.  
  
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Now enters Romano!  
  
Romano and Elizabeth are walking around, talking to each other, having a good time.  
  
Romano: So Lizzie, what's new.  
  
Elizabeth: Oh, not much. This place is so dull. I can't stand that we have to work here every day. I wish that this place would be more exciting.  
  
Romano: It is dull. But you make it better Lizzie. And since there are no traumas coming in, why don't we make this place more exciting. It can't be that hard.  
  
Elizabeth: But what can we do? There's no one around. And even if we did do something fun and mad, nobody would see the fruits of our labour.  
  
Romano: Just cause this place is dull, doesn't mean that the ER is dull too. Let's go down there.  
  
The two doctors go down to the ER in the elevator. While in there, Romano had a stroke of genius.  
  
Romano: What could we possibly do that would entertain us and piss off Kerry?  
  
Elizabeth: I don't know. You tell me.  
  
Romano: We could go down to Kerry's office and trash it.  
  
Elizabeth: That sounds positively marvelous! You are so smart, Robert!  
  
Romano: Well than, what are we waiting for. Let's do it!  
  
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Yay! That's the end of the third part! You like? If so tell me. I like to hear that kind of stuff. Also, if you have any ideas, any at all, tell me. They'd be appreciated and probably incorperated into the story. Cassi and Sven did it. You can too! If you like funny stories, read Kitkatz's. She inspired this! I really like writing this and I hope you like to read it too. Please R/R. -Sammie. 


	4. Canada, Snogging and Love, Baby!

The Series of Abnormal Events   
  
Chapter 1: The Evil Antics of Dr. Weaver. Part four.  
  
Hey everybody! Here's another part for your enjoyment. Wow. Four parts. I can't believe I've written so much. Thanks for the reviews. Always welcome. I don't know how I'll ever finish this story. I get more and more ideas which pull me farther away from the plot. This won't be finished soon, but I'll try my best to get parts up quickly. Here's a special thanks. To Lilliana, my beta. I've got a beta! It'll really help, but parts might come slower. Hope you don't mind. Anyways, I should get started on this part four. Oooh. Here's a site to go to. www.neoxer.com/song.html. I get my music off of it. I've got Tequila on. Hee hee. I love that song. It's a great site. Oopsie! I've gone off topic again. Part four. On y va!  
  
Disclamer: I unfortunately don't own ER or any other TV show for that matter. I just own a computer and an over active imagination. Anything that is derived from that combination is used for entertainment, and entertainment only. Hee hee. I like writing disclamers. So fun. Right. The story.  
  
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Let's start with the nurses.  
  
Malik: How 'bout we go to Canada!   
  
Yosh: Canada? Why?   
  
Malik: I dunno. I just think they have good donuts!  
  
Randi: There isn't much else.  
  
Kitkatz: ISN'T MUCH ELSE? I thought I told you that I was Canadian!   
  
  
  
Haleh: Oh yeah. You did say that.   
  
Randi: Sorry if I offended you, but is there anything there?  
  
Kitkatz: Well there's... uh... Okay, so there isn't much. But there is one thing that not many people know about. And it's really entertaining.  
  
Malik: Ooh! What is it? C'mon! Tell us!  
  
Yosh: The suspense is killing me!  
  
Kitkatz: Sorry. Can't tell you know. The only way you can find out is if you go there. And I will take you, if you want.  
  
Haleh: Pretty please?  
  
Randi: With a cherry on top?  
  
Kitkatz: Well. Alright. Let's go. It might take awhile.  
  
Yosh: Can you tell us where we're going?  
  
Kitkatz: Fine. Being bugged for ten hours with "Can you tell us now?" could possibly be worse than the traditional "Are we there yet?" But you can't change your mind, kay?  
  
Nurses: Of course. We won't change our minds! Now tell us!  
  
Kitkatz: We're going to Orleans, Ontario!  
  
Malik: Where in the hell is that?   
  
Kitkatz: It's on the outskirts of Ottawa.   
  
Malik: Where?  
  
Kitkatz: Ottawa! You don't know where Ottawa is? *Pulls out a map of North America.* Here. Right here.   
  
Haleh: Okay. We got it. Now what's in Orleans?  
  
Kitkatz: I live there, and my best friend, Sammie, is there. She can get really hyper, which is pretty entertaining. She's been known to sing both the Arthur and Barney songs intertwined. *Yosh is about to talk.* Don't ask.   
  
Randi: She sounds fun.   
  
Kitkatz: That's not the best part. Her family is crazy too. Three teenage girls under the same roof can reek havoc.  
  
Yosh: *Laughs.* That sounds like so much fun! Better than any musical. So, what are we waiting for? Let's go!  
  
Kitkatz: Actually we started to go five minutes ago. You just didn't notice.   
  
Yosh: Really?  
  
Kitkatz: Yep. You should be more observant. Okay. We've got a long blimp ride ahead of us. What should we do?  
  
Randi: Tell us more about your friend.  
  
Kitkatz: Well, she's hard to describe. You can talk to her. I can get us a computer or a phone or something.  
  
Malik: Cool! Computers are cool.  
  
Kitkatz: It'll take me a minute. Just let me take out my wand. *Takes out the wand and waves it above her head.*   
  
Yosh: Where's the computer?  
  
Kitkatz: What computer?  
  
  
  
All of the nurses fall asleep.  
  
Kitkatz: Perfect. They're asleep. Thank god I remembered I learned that spell. Ten hours of that would have killed me. Now, how do you put this in high gear?  
  
(My own mini author's note. Hope you like this part. I gotta stop now, but you can't tell when I do that. Unless I tell you, no duh! Buh bye!)  
  
*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*  
  
(Hi again! I'm back! No homework so fanfic writing time has been increased. Yay! That means faster posts. If you think I'm slow, be mad at my english teacher. Grr. Stupid poetry. Well, I guess I'm not really that slow. Time to keep writing. This time with Romano and Corday. Read.)  
  
Romano and Elizabeth are in the elevator.  
  
*Really cheesy elevator music.*  
  
Elizabeth: Why is this thing so slow. My god. We should have just taken the stairs. That would have been much faster.  
  
Romano: You're right Lizzie, but we can't go back now, can we?  
  
Elizabeth: Hmmph. No we can't, but I just want the bloody elevator to get down to the ER. I don't think it ever will.  
  
As Elizabeth says this, the elevator stops and doors open. Nobody's in their range of view.  
  
Romano: Finally! Now, let's go trash her office. This way.  
  
Elizabeth and Romano walk towards Kerry's office, obviously preoccupied with what they want to trash first.  
  
Romano: It's so... clean.  
  
Elizabeth: Isn't that what we want?  
  
Romano: Of course. This makes trashing even more fun. What to do first, what to do first?  
  
Romano turns around and is in close proximity with Elizabeth. Very close. They stay looking at each other for a moment and turn at the exact same time.   
  
Elizabeth: Okay. That was...  
  
Romano: Nice?  
  
Elizabeth: Yes. It was nice. Very nice.  
  
Romano: I know how to trash this room!   
  
Romano looks at her and lunges towards her. He plants a long kiss on her lips.   
  
Romano: Is this a good way to start, Lizzie?  
  
Elizabeth: Oh yes. Very good.  
  
Elizabeth shuts the door with her foot and blindly pulls the shutter's cord, closing the blinds.  
  
(That was bad, but I wasn't sure how to write something like that. Oh well, good enough.)  
  
*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*  
  
  
  
Currently Carter, Luka and Abby are in the same room. Kerry's trying to get them all together for her giant evil deed.  
  
Kerry: Susan? Frank? Are you guys doing anything?  
  
Susan: We're eating donuts!  
  
Kerry: Other than that.  
  
Frank: Well then. No, guess not.  
  
Kerry: Good. Then, do you guys wanna go help Carter dissect that brain? Chances like that don't come around often.  
  
Susan: As long as we can bring the donuts.  
  
Kerry: Bring the donuts! I don't care. Go see him, now!  
  
Susan: Fine, fine. C'mon Frank. Let's go see the brain.  
  
Susan and Frank leave for Carter.  
  
Kerry: Perfect! They're all together. Now. Time to tell them the big news.  
  
Kerry walks over to exam 1 where everyone's looking at Carter and the brain. They, yet again, don't notice her.  
  
Kerry: Do you people ever notice me! *Nobody seems to notice.* Arghhh! Hmph. Okay. Here goes. *Yells.* CARTER, I LOVE YOU!  
  
Carter drops the brain onto the floor and stares at Kerry. *Ten minutes later.*   
  
Carter: Uhh. Okaaaaaay. But I thought that you were a...  
  
Kerry: Nope! I changed for you! *Kerry walks over to Carter and kisses him on the cheek.* Bye bye, cutesie pie!   
  
Kerry leaves, smug and obviously pleased with herself.   
  
Kerry: I am so good. I hope he believes me. Nothing could ruin my good mood.   
  
But something can and will.  
  
*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*  
  
Back in exam 1  
  
Luka: Cutesie pie?  
  
Susan: That was weird. Very weird.   
  
Abby: *Whines.* She can't have you! I've got dibs!  
  
Carter: Eww. I can't even figure out where that came from.  
  
Frank: I don't think she means it. I think it's another one of her evil deeds.  
  
Luka: Really? You think? Well, it would make sense.  
  
Abby: She has to stop with these tricks. They're really starting to bug me. But how?  
  
Carter: Well, two can play the game. Here's my idea...  
  
*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*  
  
You like? Very good. Unless you said no. Well I'm not going there. Sorry that this part has taken me so long but I've started John Carter, Pokemon Master, and it takes up a lot of my time. I think that Tara (Kitkatz) is going to write a very short chapter 2 that will be stuck in the middle of chapter one. I feel like writing JC, PM so this is the end of part four. As always, I'll try to put part five up fast and reviews are always appreciated. Oh and do you think that I should add Jerry? He's cool, too. -Sammie.   
  
P.S. I JUST GOT THE DORSETT THING! My God, I am so out of it. Dorsett a.k.a. Doorstep can die. He's the surgeon that went after Corday. There can be a mass suicide! Yay! Mass suicide! 


	5. Cell Phones, Music and Magic!

The Series of Abnormal Events  
  
Chapter 1: The Evil Antics of Dr. Weaver. Part five.  
  
Hello and welcome to part five. I will be your host, Sammie. Actually, you don't need a host. Just your eyes and your brain. You can do that. If you couldn't, you wouldn't be at part five. Sorry that part four took so long. Whenever I tried to upload the part, Only the ending note would show up. It took me awhile, but I figured out how to fix it and I got it up! Thank you Cassi and Sven for reviewing! I like reviews, who doesn't? If you don't, tell me. I'll really be amazed. Thanks to Kitkatz for some funny ideas and OT but Freebie too, just because she emails me back and forth every day. That's fun. OT: But ewwwww. My dog just farted! Gross. *pause* There she's gone. Now I'll continue.  
  
Lilliana, you get your own paragraph, because you are my beta! Thank you!  
  
Hee hee. I'm watching ER right now. Where Kerry uses the same needle on tv. Ha ha. So funny. It's funny when people screw up. Unless it's yourself. I know that sounds evil. But I am. Evil, that is. Okay, I'm going on to the fifth part now. Don't worry. It gets crazier.  
  
Disclamer: Hee hee. Disclamer. That's a funny word. Disclamer. You know what it means, don't you? Well, it means that I'm not using these characters to make money. Cause they aren't mine. I don't invent characters, just make fun of them. Got that? Good.  
  
*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*  
  
Kitkatz is fumbling around with all the controls.  
  
Kitkatz: Hmm. This one? *The walls change colours.* Okay. I guess not. But I like the purple. Very cool. Hmm. I can't see out the window, I guess I should clean my glasses. *She takes off her glasses.* Awww. The walls aren't purple, they're barf green! I guess wearing sunglasses inside isn't the best idea. Now to change the colour. *She presses the same button again. The walls turn a magenta pink.* Oooh. Pink! Pink is good. Okay, now to make this thing go faster. *Exremely long pause.* Aw crap. Not another oxygen mask! What's with those? *She throws it into the large pile of oxygen masks.* Okay! I'm not even going to try anymore. Sam's good with machines, I better call her. *Magics up a cell phone and types in a number.* *Brrinng! Brrinng!*  
  
Sammie: Hello?  
  
Kitkatz: Hi Sammie! How are ya?  
  
Sammie: I'm fine, I guess. Um, Tara? Why are you calling at three in the morning? I was sleeping quite nicely.  
  
Kitkatz: Well, I'm in a blimp, over Chicago. With some nurses, sleeping on the floor. I was coming to see you but I can't get the freaking thing to go faster than a couple of miles per hour! And I thought that maybe you could tell me what to do. Perlease?  
  
Sammie: You're in a blimp? Okaaaaay. Special. Anyways, do you see the big red button that says 'GO' on it?  
  
Kitkatz: Umm.  
  
Sammie: *Mumbling.* Oh my God. Breathe. Okay. Tara?  
  
Kitkatz: Yeah?  
  
Sammie: It's the one on the left.  
  
Kitkatz: Uhh. Oh! There it is!  
  
Sammie: Now press it.  
  
Kitkatz presses the button. The blimp goes much faster.  
  
Kitkatz: How'd you do that?  
  
Sammie: I'm psychic, remember?  
  
Kitkatz: Really? Cool. Well, I'm coming over now. See you soon!  
  
Sammie: Ta-ta and toodles my friend.  
  
Sammie thinks to herself: My god. She actually thinks I'm psychic.  
  
She closes the book on her lap called How To Operate A Blimp For Dummies.  
  
*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*  
  
(I don't feel like changing scenes. So we'll go back to Kitkatz.) A long time has past.  
  
Kitkatz is putting on a CD she borrowed from Sammie quite a while ago.  
  
Kitkatz: Oooh. That Old Black Magic. Such a cool song! Do di do di do, I don't know the words, la la la, that only your kissssssss could put out that fire! Doo do di do. (More of this). black magic called, you're a dirty robber! Old black magic called, uh oh, get out the car! Old black magic called, meanwhile back at the ranch! Under that old bla-a-a-ack magic oh-a- oh-a-oh! Gosh I love that song. So cool.  
  
I'm not going to describe her other attempts. I think you get the idea. Anyways, she's really wrapped up in the music. So she doesn't notice what happens next.  
  
Haleh starts to get up. Tara doesn't notice her.  
  
Haleh: His eye is on the sparrow. Great song. *She starts to sing.*  
  
Kitkatz: Whoa! You're awake!  
  
Haleh: Well, I heard the music. I really like this song. So I got up to sing. You were blasting it pretty loud.  
  
Kitkatz: Sorry to wake you. I'm not very good at sleeping spells.  
  
Haleh: What?!?  
  
Kitkatz: I mean keeping quiet. Yep. That's it.  
  
Haleh: Okaaay. You should put down the volume. If you don't, the others'll wake up. You don't want them annoying us, do you?  
  
Kitkatz: Good idea. *She turns down the music.* There. That's better.  
  
Haleh: I don't want to bug you, but ummmm.  
  
Kitkatz: What is it? Spit it out.  
  
Haleh: I won't ask again.  
  
Kitkatz: Go!  
  
Haleh: Are we there yet?  
  
Kitkatz: Very soon. About an hour or so.  
  
Haleh: What can we do to pass the time? Kitkatz: Umm. Well, I could teach you some magic. I've got a secret. I'm not very good. I can only do donuts well.  
  
Haleh: I figured that out.  
  
Kitkatz: Really? *Looks disappointed.* Was it that obvious?  
  
Haleh: *Tries to sound sincere.* Noooo! Not at all! Really! I'm good at figuring people out.  
  
Kitkatz: Okay. I was worried for a moment. Now let's start.  
  
Haleh: Okay.  
  
Kitkatz: Okay, first you need a wand and a beginner's book.  
  
Haleh: Where do I get those?  
  
Kitkatz: Ummm. I could conjure them up for you.  
  
Haleh: Is that really such a good idea?  
  
Kitkatz: Maybe not. Well, you could use my wand, and I could tell you how to do stuff.  
  
Haleh: *Hesitantly.* Ummm. Okay. I'll try.  
  
Kitkatz: Here. *She gives the wand to Haleh.* Now, I'll demonstrate with this pencil. *She picks up the pencil.* First, what do you want to do?  
  
Haleh: I'd like some nicer clothes. I wore these ugly sweatpants cause I figured we'd end up going rock climbing.  
  
Kitkatz: Okay. Think about what you want. Don't be discouraged if you don't get it the first time. I didn't.  
  
Haleh: *Thinks for a moment.* Okay. I know what I want.  
  
Kitkatz: Now flick the wand.  
  
Haleh flicks the wand and some nicely worn jeans and a nice t-shirt appear.  
  
Kitkatz: Wow! You are good!  
  
Haleh: Really?  
  
Kitkatz: Really-really!  
  
Haleh: Okay then, let's make more stuff.  
  
Kitkatz: You just do the same thing. Think of the object and flick your wrist.  
  
Haleh: That's simple enough. What should I make next?  
  
Kitkatz: How 'bout some wedding cake. Mmmmm. Wedding cake.  
  
Haleh thinks for a moment flicks her wrist and there appears a wedding cake.  
  
Kitkatz: That looks sooo good. Let's dig in.  
  
Haleh: Good idea.  
  
Haleh and Kitkatz attack the wedding cake. After a few minutes, all that remains of the wedding cake are some crumbs.  
  
Kitkatz: Whoa. That was a TON of cake. I bet I've gained a few pounds.  
  
Haleh: Oh no! I don't want to gain weight!  
  
Kitkatz: Don't worry. You've got the power now!  
  
Haleh: I can make my self lose weight?  
  
Kitkatz: Sure! How do you think I eat all those donuts and still look like this? *She flaunts her skinny body.*  
  
Haleh: Good point. Okay. I'll try.  
  
Haleh does the whole magic routine. When she's done, she conjures up a mirror.  
  
Haleh: Cool! I really am skinnier! I love this magic stuff! I think I should get my own wand.  
  
Again, the magic thing. A very nice wand, better then Kitkatz's, appears.  
  
Kitkatz: Very good! You're a natural. Now. We're literally almost at Sammie's house. We should wake the others up.  
  
Haleh: Let's get to it.  
  
*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*  
  
There you have it. Part five. Tout fini. Now, I've avoided using anyone, but the nurses for the sole reason that I don't know what Carter's plan should be! Can you guys help me? I really want to write the next part, but I need to do more than just the nurses. Help is always greatly appreciated and I read the fics of nice people. Hint, hint. Nudge, nudge. By the way, if you're wondering, I used those songs because they are SOOO cool! If you get one song, get one of those. I'm going to busy myself now, with all my stuff to do. Really. I do have a life. Kinda. Fine, I admit it. The computer takes up most of my time. But that's okay, right? Of course. Now, I'm going to bid you adieu. Ta-ta and toodles, Sammie. 


	6. Cat Fights, Plans and a Newly Discovered...

The Series of Abnormal Events  
  
Chapter 1: The Evil Antics of Dr. Weaver. Part six.  
  
Gosh dang darn it! A part six? Not in my wildest dreams did I think I would still be doing this. It's probably because I like reviews, as always. I've been reading all day and it's really late, but I had the urge to start part six. So here I am. Yet again thanks goes out to Kitkatz for giving me great ideas, Sven and Cassi for the constant reviews and Lilliana for beta-ing this fic. I've got a idea for Carter. Don't be disappointed with it's lameness. If you could read my mind, although I know you can't, you'd know that the plan NEEDS to be lame. Alright I'm gonna start now. With Carter. But first, the disclamer.  
  
Disclamer: MWAHAHAHAHA!!! I'm in control! No one can stop me now! Well actually, there are such things as copyright laws. They prevent evil geniuses (ie. ME!) from saying they own the characters or using them to make money. I'm not in this for the money. I'm in this cause Tara and I have wayyyy too over-active imaginations. Really.  
  
*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*  
  
Let's start with Carter and his gang.  
  
Carter, Abby, Susan, Luka and Frank are all huddling in a circle. They are discussing the "plan."  
  
Carter: Okay. I've got a plan. But first, there are some things we need to do.  
  
Abby: Like what, exactly?  
  
Carter: Well, we need a name for the plan.  
  
Susan: A name?  
  
Frank: That's what he said.  
  
Susan: I'm not stupid!  
  
Frank: Well, you sure are acting like it!  
  
Susan: Take that back!  
  
Frank: Why should I, umm. uh. stupid girl?  
  
Susan: You'll wish you hadn't said that! You um. err. old geyser!  
  
Frank: Ouch. That really hurt.  
  
Susan: Oh no you di-in't!  
  
Frank: Uh huh. I sure did! Bring it on stupid girl!  
  
Susan: You asked for it, old geyser!  
  
At that moment, Susan lunges for Frank and starts bitch-slapping him. Frank, oddly enough, does the same.  
  
At that moment, Luka, Abby and Carter all fall to the floor, clenching their stomachs- cause they're laughing so hard it hurts! They're laughing at the very funny looking cat fight. After about five minutes, Luka stops laughing enough so that he can get up. He brushes the dust off his coat and starts to talk, above all the high pitched screams.  
  
Luka: This is probably one of the funniest sights I've seen in awhile, but um, now it's kinda scary.  
  
Abby: Should we break 'em up?  
  
Carter: That would be a good idea. We need to get back to work. Luka, you help me.  
  
Carter and Luka each grab one of them. They then pull them apart. Susan and Frank struggle a bit, but then stop caring.  
  
Abby: Do you know how stupid you looked? My god, it was a riot!  
  
Susan: So what. It's over now.  
  
Carter: We need to focus, people. What will our name be?  
  
Luka: How bout Do Oust Nasty Unkind Twerps of Society?  
  
Susan: I like it.  
  
Abby: Me too.  
  
Frank: Good one.  
  
Carter: So it's settled. We are officially D-O-N-U-T-S!  
  
I couldn't help it. Donuts was the obvious choice. It was hard to come up with the name. You know, maybe the title of my story should have been Donut? Oh well. I don't care.  
  
*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*  
  
Now Kitkatz, I'll call her Tara, and her minions, (you'll see,) are finally getting to Ottawa!  
  
Sammie looks out of the living room window, expecting a blimp to land in her driveway. She looks at her watch.  
  
Sammie: Hmph. Just like Tara. Always late. Sheesh. I even knew exactly when she left. *Ten minutes pass.*  
  
Ding-dong!  
  
Sammie opens the door and sees Tara. (Kitkatz.) And also, all the nurses too!  
  
Sammie: Hi Tara! Took you awhile, but that didn't surprise me.  
  
Tara: Hey! Well, I guess it's true, but still. I had a valid reason.  
  
Sammie: And what might that be?  
  
Tara: *She pulls a box of donuts out from behind her back.* We brought donuts!  
  
Sammie: So you brought the nurses to Timmy's. That is a good reason. Oh yeah, I should introduce myself. I'm Sammie, if you haven't guessed. I already know who you are.  
  
Yosh: Really? How?  
  
Sammie: Come on. You don't know?  
  
Malik: Seriously. I don't believe you.  
  
Sammie: Fine Malik, don't believe me. But I can't believe that you don't believe me.  
  
Malik: You do know my name!  
  
Sammie: I know everyone's name. I'm not psychic, though.  
  
Tara: Hey! You told me you were!  
  
Sammie: I was being SARCASTIC! Doy-head. *Slaps forehead in a mocking fashion.*  
  
Tara: *Meekly.* Oh.  
  
Sammie: Do you want to know how I know your names?  
  
Randi: Yep. Cause you're kinda freaking me out, knowing our names and all.  
  
Sammie: *Muttering.* I can't believe they don't kow about the show. *In regular voice.* Come with me. I'll show you.  
  
Sammie leads everyone into the family room and turns on the TV. There's an episode of ER playing.  
  
Sammie: Watch.  
  
Yosh, Haleh, Malik and Randi all watch, stupefied. Why? Because they were on TV!  
  
Sammie: I can't believe that you didn't know.  
  
The nurses: Well. That answers our questions.  
  
Haleh: I always wondered why there were men with cameras everywhere.  
  
Sammie: Well now you know. I have something to tell you. I, a loyal fan of the show, must inform you that while you were gone from the ER, Carter, Abby, Susan, Luka and Frank have launched a campaign against Weaver. Do you like Weaver?  
  
Malik: Not really.  
  
Sammie: So you want them to beat her, right?  
  
Yosh: Of course.  
  
Sammie: Then you need to help them. I can help you, teach you some magic. Haleh already knows some. Tara, you know her as Kitkatz, taught her a bit. I'll teach you collectively. Tara will help. Right Tara?  
  
Tara: Oh, yeah. Sure. *She's busy playing on her GBA. Super Mario Bros. to be exact.*  
  
Sammie: I have the wands. Tara has been using stick wands, but I know for a fact, donuts work better.  
  
Tara: Really?  
  
Sammie: Yep. Okay, everyone take the assigned donut when prompted. Tara: Sprinkled, Yosh: Boston Cream, Randi: Apple Fritter, Haleh: Old Fashioned Sugar and Malik: Double Chocolate.  
  
Everyone takes the assigned donut.  
  
Malik: Cool. I got my favourite donut!  
  
Sammie: Everyone did. Why? Because the energy flows through things better, the more you like them. Shoot. I've got to go.  
  
Randi: Wait. How did you know our favourite donuts?  
  
Sammie: I have my ways. Now, you must let me leave. First, send this email to Freebs. There. Done. Okay. All of you. Out. Now.  
  
Everyone leaves.  
  
Sammie: Ta-ta and toodles!  
  
She waves to the blimp, slowly rising into the air.  
  
*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*  
  
Back to the D.O.N.U.T.S. plan.  
  
Carter: Now that we have a name, we need a plan. I have one. It's not very good, but we need a plan now, and this is all that we have.  
  
Susan: Well than, what is it?  
  
Carter: Buy tons of stuff of the internet with her credit card.  
  
Abby: That's not so bad.  
  
Luka: Yeah. It seems pretty easy.  
  
Frank: And we get lots of free stuff!  
  
Carter: Okay, this plan will work. Let's put it into action. Abby. You sneak into Weaver's office and get her credit cards. We'll wait here for you.  
  
Abby: Me?  
  
Luka: Sure. Why not you?  
  
Abby: Actually, when I think about it, I don't know. I guess I just like to whine.  
  
Susan: Great. Try to figure yourself out. Another time! We have no time to waste, so go!  
  
Abby: Don't pressure me.  
  
Luka: Will you please go?  
  
Abby: Yes. *She walks out of the room and heads towards Weaver's office, oblivious to the fact that a perfect plan would be right under her nose in a matter of moments.  
  
*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*  
  
That was a short last little part, but I don't care. I would have made it longer, but I have a headache, sunburn and my back hurts. Stupid track and field. But I did do well! 4th in high jump and 6th in triple jump! Yay! I got ribbons! I'm pretty sure that you probably don't care, but I had the need to spread my glory! Wow. Two parts written in the span of two days. I'm pleased with myself. 29 pages and I'm still going strong. Do you like the new chapter titles? I hope so. Oh yeah. More characters soon. I'm gonna go crash now, so, for now, ta-ta and toodles, Sammie. 


	7. Parties, Donut Wands and Bagels!

The Series of Abnormal Events  
  
Chapter 1: The Evil Antics of Dr. Weaver. Part seven.  
  
Yes it's here! It's finally here! I hope that's what you guys are thinking, but I doubt it. You're probably thinking, "Gosh she has too much time on her hands. She has no life." I wouldn't be surprised. No. I have a valid excuse. When I write this, my mom thinks I'm doing my homework! Perfect! This is way funner than homework. And I do have a life. I write when I'm really tired. At like, 10 pm. The stupidest ideas come at this time. Oh and I'm not fat! I'm really skinny. A beanpole. My pals all think that my readers will think I'm fat, since all I write about is donuts. It's not true! I just like donuts. And I worked off that. Wow. I've rambled a lot. Well, here's part seven, ready for your enjoyment. Oh yeah. Thanks to Cassi and Sven for reviewing part 5, Lilliana, for catching all my stupid mistakes and Kitkatz/ Tara for giving me tons of stupid ideas during lunch hour.  
  
Disclamer: Ya know, I look forward to writing these disclamers. They are FUN! What'll I say this time. Okay, I got it.  
  
Yes! Finally! I own all the characters! This paper entitles me to that! All I had to do was kidnap the producer to get it out of them! I can't wait to control them! *Sammie wakes up.* Ugh. It was just a dream. That sucks. So I guess I don't own the characters. That really sucks.  
  
Ya like? I hope so. Disclamers should be used more. Make a story out of it. I challenge you. Now. To the fic!  
  
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(Here's something sad. I just reread most of my fic cause I needed to remember what happens! I'm caught up now!)  
  
Abby is slowly trudging along through the hallway.  
  
Abby: *To herself.* Gosh. This place is so quiet. Nobody is around. No one at all. It's actually kind of weird. Hmm. Something must be going on that I don't know about. It's like in those mysteries, something is up when it's too quiet.  
  
At that moment Abby hears a loud scream eminating from Weaver's office.  
  
Abby: Oh my God! What the hell is she doing in there? Okay, maybe I don't want to know. Oh nasty! Now I have a mental image. Thanks Kerry! Another evil deed. Yuck. That won't leave my head for days. Ewwwww!  
  
Abby runs down the hall, away from Kerry's office and back to the rest of the gang.  
  
Abby: I can't go in there.  
  
Luka: It's not that hard. You walk up to the door, turn the handle and push the door open. Then you walk through it, into the office. It's simple, really.  
  
Abby: Luka!  
  
Luka: What? I was trying to help.  
  
Abby: I'm not that stupid. I can open doors. But it's something else.  
  
Susan: Like what?  
  
Abby: Well, as I was walking towards her office, I noticed how quiet it was.  
  
Frank: Go on.  
  
Abby: And I thought of how in books and tv shows and stuff, something always happens when it's quiet.  
  
Carter: Don't tell me THAT made you come back here.  
  
Abby: NO! And stop interrupting. Okay. Well, as I said it was quiet. Then all of a sudden I heard a loud scream.  
  
Frank: What kind of scream?  
  
Abby: A passionate scream. The kinds you'd make in bed.  
  
Everyone else: OHHHH!  
  
Abby: The worst part is the fact that I think Kerry was in there!  
  
Everyone else again: EWWWWWW!  
  
If you could see into the minds of everyone in that room, I can tell you, it wouldn't be a pleasant sight.  
  
About ten minutes later.  
  
Everyone: EWWWW!  
  
Finally, Carter realizes something.  
  
Carter: Weaver isn't in there!  
  
Susan: Huh?  
  
Carter: No. She would have gone out to get coffee, or to do more evil deeds. This kind of deed wouldn't let her see the outcome. Plus, she also thinks I'm really gullible and that I believed her, so she wouldn't cheat on me.  
  
Frank: The reality of it is gone, but the horrible mental picture remains.  
  
Luka: Okay, so Kerry isn't in there. Then who is?  
  
Abby: It's not much better than Kerry, but, uh. I think it's Elizabeth and Romano!  
  
Susan: That would make sense.  
  
Luka: And I think that they're on right now too.  
  
Frank: If in fact, they are in there, then I have the most perfect plan yet!  
  
Carter: Which is?  
  
Frank: Throw a party!  
  
Abby: Um, how is that a good plan?  
  
Frank: If we throw a party, it'll get on her nerves, cause she hates parties, but also we could throw it for her, in her office, so that she sees them on her desk and we piss her off by holding a party. Now all we need is more people!  
  
Susan: I'm impressed Frank! Great idea! Now, where will we get the more people?  
  
Carter: Well, I dunno, but we could call Kitkatz.  
  
Susan: Do we have her number?  
  
Carter: N.  
  
Luka: *Interrupts Carter.* Yes! You do know that she gave me her gba right?  
  
Frank: Uh huh.  
  
Luka: I think that her name and phone number is on the back! *Luka grabs the gba and flips it over.* See! Right there!  
  
Carter: Then let's call her!  
  
Everyone walks down to the admin. desk. Susan takes the job of calling. She dials the number.  
  
Riiiing. Riiiing.  
  
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We will now meet up with the nurses. On the blimp, of course.  
  
Kitkatz: Wasn't that fun?  
  
Yosh: Sure. I still can't get over the fact that we're on tv.  
  
Kitkatz: Nine years. Number one show!  
  
Haleh: That's good. But still, kinda freaky.  
  
Kitkatz: I guess. But it's like Big Brother, you're taped 24/7. Of course they know they're being taped, but does that stop them from doing stuff? Absolutly not.  
  
Randi: I guess you're right. Hmm. Where are we going?  
  
Kitkatz: Back to the ER, of course.  
  
Malik: Why? That's the place we wanted to stay away from in the first place.  
  
Kitkatz: I know it seems boring now, but trust me, more stuff is going to happen.  
  
Yosh: Like what?  
  
Kitkatz: Carter, Abby, Susan, Luka and Frank and going to have a party. And we're going!  
  
Haleh: Ooh! Fun! A party!  
  
Kitkatz: They aren't doing it for fun. But you'll find out when you get back. Now, we need to learn to use these donuts as wands. But the only way I'll teach you, is if you promise to become my minions.  
  
Randi: Minions? I don't think so.  
  
Kitkatz: Come on! It'll be fun! I won't make you do anything, I've just always dreamed of having my own little, how do you say, entourage.  
  
Yosh: I guess it sounds okay. Magic is worth it.  
  
Kitkatz: So everyone is with me?  
  
Haleh: I already know magic. I don't need to be your minion.  
  
Kitkatz: But we're high in the sky, and I'm stronger than you. You will be part of my entourage. Capiche?  
  
Haleh: Fine. Just don't make me do anything stupid.  
  
Kitkatz: I won't make you do anything. We'll do fun stuff! Now, is everyone with me?  
  
There's a chorus of yesses from the nurses.  
  
Kitkatz: Good. We'll now do the pledge.  
  
Randi: Pledge?  
  
Kitkatz: I want this to be ceremonial. To start, raise your donut.  
  
Everyone raises their donuts. Malik's has a few bites missing.  
  
Kitkatz: MALIK! WHY ARE YOU EATING YOUR DONUT!?!  
  
Malik: I'm hungry!  
  
Kitkatz: You're lucky this time. I have a few extra donuts. Lucky thing we got a dozen.  
  
Malik takes another donut and raises his hand like everyone else.  
  
Kitkatz: Repeat after me. I pledge.  
  
Nurses: I pledge.  
  
Kitkatz: To stay true.  
  
Nurses: To stay true.  
  
Kitkatz: To my leader.  
  
Nurses: To my leader.  
  
Kitkatz: The most-greatest, wonderfullest, stupefantabulous leader ever.  
  
Randi: I am NOT saying that. Stop flattering yourself.  
  
Kitkatz: You are RUINING my moment!  
  
Randi: Then say something reasonable.  
  
Kitkatz: Hmph. Fine. Kitkatz.  
  
Nurses: Kitkatz.  
  
Kitkatz: And use my magic.  
  
Nurses: And use my magic.  
  
Kitkatz: Against people.  
  
Nurses: Against people.  
  
Kitkatz: I don't like.  
  
Nurses: I don't like.  
  
Kitkatz: And those who don't eat donuts.  
  
Nurses: And those who don't eat donuts.  
  
Kitkatz: There I'm done.  
  
Nurses: There I'm done.  
  
Kitkatz: Stop repeating now.  
  
Malik: Stop repeating now.  
  
Everyone else on the blimp: MALIK!  
  
Malik: Oh. Sorry.  
  
Kitkatz: Good job everyone, *mutters* though you could have been more agreeing.  
  
Randi: I heard that!  
  
Kitkatz: What?  
  
Randi: You just said, though you could have been more agreeing!  
  
Kitkatz: No I didn't.  
  
Randi: I distinctly heard you say it!  
  
Kitkatz: Nope.  
  
Randi: Ugg! You are SOOO immature.  
  
Kitkatz: No I'm not.  
  
Randi: I can't take this anymore.  
  
She walks away.  
  
Kitkatz: *Whines.* But I have to teach you magic!  
  
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Flash to Weaver.  
  
Weaver is outside of a bagel shop.  
  
Weaver: He he he he he. This is the perfect evil deed! Those doctors have become too obsessed with donuts. I will sneek bagels into the box of donuts. That will piss them off! Royally! After the whole bagel sickness thing, I bet none of them will want to touch a bagel! I can't stand it! Eww. Just the thought of bagels. *Shudders.* I'll have to face them to follow through with the bagel trick.  
  
She enters the bagel shop.  
  
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Okay. It's late on a Friday night and I'm done part 7. I really hope you like it. I put so much work into it. When you read fanfic, you don't realize how much it takes to make one. Even though my story has no plan, and I go from the top of my head, it still takes me awhile. Right now, I'm about to start a more serious fic. All my other projects will go on the back burner, including this one. But I'm not ending it here. I'd feel too guilty. Anyhoo, Holie, (Lilliana,) is helping me come up with ideas, so I thank her. Ta-ta and toodles to you, peoples. I will write part 8 fast, I hope. ~Sammie 


	8. Chances, Mistakes and Messes! As Miss Fr...

The Series of Abnormal Events  
  
Chapter One: The Evil Antics of Dr. Weaver. Part eight.  
  
A breakthrough! I finally realized that this will be too long to be  
  
Kitkatz: CAKE IS GOOD BUT GETS STUCK IN UR HAIR.  
  
Okay. That was weird. If you're wondering, Tara is sitting at the desk with me. We'll write this chapter together. I went away for a minute and look at what she does. God. This will be one hell of a chapter. To continue.  
  
A breakthrough! I finally  
  
Kitkatz: Get on with it! Okey dokey dokey panic!!!!!!!  
  
I didn't understand that. Now, I'm gonna keep going.  
  
A breakthrough!` I finally realized that this  
  
Kitkatz: Wedding cake is especially good because Morton eats it.  
  
Never mind. She won't let me finish. It wasn't important. You know, Tara really hurts my brain. I need a tylenol. I gots me a headache.  
  
Kitkatz: Gots aint a werd ya weirdo bado spellar.  
  
There were soo many mistakes in that sentence. Maybe I should get another tylenol. No. I won't leave the computer again. I'll write the fic. Since Tara is writing this with me, it might be weirder than normal. If, for some reason, that's what you like, read her fics. Under Kitkatz.  
  
Disclamer: Yay! I'm at this fun part again! Okay. The characters are too tame for me. That's why I don't want to own them. If I did, they'd be in my closet. Cause that's what I do with all my stuff. Oh, I don't own any MSB characters either.  
  
Disclamer 2: Hi ya! I'm gonna be disclamer too! I own the characters because they are actually in my drawer at home in the section with all the winter sweaters and stuff. And they never had a shower in 3 months, so they now stink. And so now they are being forced into one of Sammie's fics. There. And they're tame because they're half dead.  
  
Disclamer: *Holds head in hands.* God Tara. The disclamer isn't a person. I'm not a disclamer. A disclamer is a thing. This is being called a disclamer because the above, written by you, isn't true. The characters aren't in your drawer. With the winter sweaters. In desparate need of a shower and half dead. They aren't mine or yours. They belong to Warner Bros., NBC, and Scholastic.  
  
Sweater: Uh, excuse ME! I'M the sweater! And Carter is especially smelly.  
  
Sammie: *Pounds head on table.* No. You are not a sweater! Or a disclamer 2! You are Tara. Sweaters can't type. Carter is hot, not smelly. Don't make up stuff about my Carter. Oops. I should say, WB and NBC's Carter. That's more accurate. Now, no more disclamer stuff!  
  
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Hmm. Let's start with the phone call to Kitkatz. Kitkatz is Tara, so she'll write that.  
  
A cellphone is ringing. With the souuuund of muuuuusic. With a ringtone that has plaaaayed for a thousand yeaaaaars! No. Actually, it's ringing to the theme of ER.  
  
Kitkatz: (picks up phone) Help 911? Help 911? Wazzup?  
  
Yosh: What are you doing? Who are you talking to? Is it a mission? Please tell me it's a mission. I want to be a super hero.  
  
Malik: I'm superman!  
  
Yosh: I'm wonder woman!  
  
Randi; You're a guy! I'm wonder woman!  
  
Kitkatz: GAY ARSE!!!  
  
Sammie: That's mean! Shouting is rude. Whisper it in Haleh's ear. It'll get around to everyone fast enough.  
  
Randi: Huh? Where are you?  
  
Sammie: I have a video camera on top of my computer. Look in the corner. I set it up while you were watching yourselves on tv.  
  
Kitkatz: SHEDDAP!!! I wanna talk ta da King! King of Koopas!! Bowser!  
  
Cellphone: I'm not Bowser! I'M SUSAN!  
  
Kitkatz: Susan B Koopa!?!?!?!? Hey! Bowser's niece!! How ya been?  
  
Cellphone: NO! DR. SUSAN LEWIS!  
  
Unknown: *Background.* Susan, why are you yelling?  
  
Susan: BECAUSE THE IDIOT ON THE PHONE THINKS I'M A FREAKIN KOOPA! WHAT'S A FREAKING KOOPA?!  
  
Kitkatz: Susan? I heard that. When did you get married, and when did you become a doctor?  
  
Susan: I am not a KOOPA! I didn't marry somebody with the last name Lewis. I became a doctor in uhhh. I can't remember. It's been awhile.  
  
Kitkatz: Hehe, Susan, you can't fool me. I'm not that stupid. So how is Larry? Have you seen him lately? Still can't get a date, huh?  
  
Susan: FOR THE LAST TIME, I AM NOT A KOOPA! I AM HUMAN!  
  
Sammie: Give me the phone Tara. It'll go much faster if you do.  
  
Tara gives the phone to Randi, who holds the camera up to the speaker and the microphone.  
  
Sammie: Sorry about that Susan. I'm Sammie, Tara's less weird friend. You haven't met me. But we're coming over right now.  
  
Susan: God. Kitkatz has changed. She's already met me, but she thinks I'm a koopa.  
  
Sammie: Don't worry about that. She gets into these moods where all she thinks about is nintendo. You can ask Luka about the koopas.  
  
Susan: How would he know?  
  
Sammie: Because he has the games. All of them.  
  
Susan: How do you know that?  
  
Sammie: I'm psychic. Now why are you calling?  
  
Susan: Well, we're having a party and we want all of you here!  
  
Sammie: We're on our way. Bye!  
  
Susan: Bye!  
  
Randi takes the cellphone and turn it off.  
  
Sammie: Tara? Can you magic me onto the blimp. I'm too lazy to do it my self.  
  
Tara: You're gonna end up like Homer Simpson if you don't stop lazing around.... but okay.  
  
Tara does the wand wave thing. Sammie appears. Like on Star Trek. (I don't watch the show, but I think that's funny.)  
  
Sammie: Hehehehe. You are my SLAVE! I can make you do anything for me! Hehehehehehehe!  
  
Kitkatz: I answer to no one!!! Except King Bowser, and all his kids, and their relatives, and their friends. Wait, they have no friends... never mind.  
  
Sammie: They have friends. Really. Uh huh. *Tries to sound convincing.* I know for a fact that they have friends.  
  
Kitkatz: Well, duh, like me. I'm they're friend, because I'm an enemy of Mario. And as Larry said, "Any enemy of the Mario Brothers, is a friend of ours." (From the show.)  
  
Sammie: Well, I hate the Mario brothers. Their names are Luigi and Mario Mario for God's sake! That is so loserish! So, that makes me a friend, which makes you answer to me. You are my SLAVE! Hehehehehe.  
  
Kitkatz: Wait, no! I didn't mean I'd listen to their friends. So I'll only help you because I'm nice. Sometimes.  
  
Sammie: Fine. Don't be my slave. *Whines.* But I was looking forward to having a servant for life! It's not fair!  
  
Kitkatz: *Whispers.* I have a solution. I have minions.  
  
Sammie: You do!  
  
Kitkatz: Shhh! *Whispers.* The nurses are my minions! You can control. Malik.  
  
Sammie: I don't want the idiot!  
  
Kitkatz: Take it or leave it!  
  
Sammie: Fine.  
  
Randi: What was that all about? Whispering is rude!  
  
Sammie: We were only talking about. uh. how good you nurses are.  
  
Randi: Oh, okay then. That's a nice thing to do.  
  
Sammie: So, Tara, when do we get to County. This blimp isn't quite so cool anymore.  
  
DA: According to my research, salmon live in the ocean!  
  
Miss Frizzle: TAKE CHANCES! MAKE MISTAKES AND GET-  
  
Kitkatz: LET'S TAKE THE MAGIC SCHOOL BUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Sammie: What the hell?! Why and how did Miss Frizzle's class onto this blimp?  
  
Yosh: Uh .um . Well, I haven't gotten used to the whole wand thing yet, and, uh, yeah.  
  
Kitkatz: That's ok, Yoshi! Now I can get Arnold's autograph, and burn it for no apparent reason!  
  
Yosh: It's Yosh. Yosh!  
  
Kitkatz: Lets go in Arnold's stomach!  
  
Everyone: OKAY!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
So everyone hops onto the bus, and they shrink and then they go into Arnold's mouth. Arnold is chewing gum, though, so they were chewed on a few times, then they retreated.  
  
Sammie: Ew. What was that for?  
  
Yosh: Yeah. I didn't really get that one. And I think I saw some chunks of meat in his gum.  
  
Randi: Arnold sure has big teeth. I hope one day I can operate on them!!!!  
  
Kitkatz: Hi! I think you know that I've been writing the past few lines. Anywho, where were we going again?  
  
Sammie: Tara! We're writing the fic right now! You can't talk in the middle of it! And we're going to County General Hospital in Chicago. To go to the party and piss off Weaver. Where have you been?  
  
Kitkatz: In Arnold's mouth!  
  
Sammie: Ugh. Take a deep breath. Count to ten. 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10. Okay. I'm better. Why did I let Tara write part of this chapter? COUNTING DOESN"T RELIEVE ANGER!!!  
  
Sammie goes over to the wall and yet again, begins to pound her head on the wall for obvious reasons.  
  
Kitkatz: You know what? Honey Nut Cherios taste good when added to Alphabets. I ate that for breakfast this morning. Yum!  
  
Yosh: RING RING RING!  
  
Randi: Is that the phone?  
  
Yosh: NO! I LOST MY RING!  
  
Kitkatz: I saw Ralphie eat it.  
  
Malik: Why do you have a ring, man? That's so uncool.  
  
Yosh searches frantically for his ring, while Ralphie barfs it up.  
  
Yosh: Eww. My ring is all barfy! I can't wear that!  
  
Ralphie: Sorry, dude.  
  
Tim: I'm fat. And depressed. I want to die.  
  
Nobody hears the fat, depressed, suicidal Tim's cry for help.  
  
The blimp finally lands on the hospital. Actually, not on the hospital, but on a bulldoser conveniently placed beside it.  
  
Everyone (except Tim): AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! JUMP!!!!!!!!  
  
They did so, and as they landed on the ground, the blimp was shreaded into pieces of meat.  
  
Haleh: Close one.  
  
Wanda: I agree. But us students from Miss Frizzle's class don't have a bus! Where will we go?  
  
Pheobe: Where's Tim?  
  
DA: According to my research, Tim was mentally unstable and suicidal. He is deceased as he didn't jump from the blimp, as the rest of us did.  
  
Carlos: Anyone up for some mystery meat?  
  
Everyone: Carlos! *They laugh.*  
  
Miss Frizzle: As I always say, Tim's an asshole and nobody gives a damn. So, mystery meat it is. Let's take chances, make mistakes and GET MESSY!  
  
Everyone: Sure!  
  
DA: But according to my research, we have a dilemma, as we have no way to get home.  
  
Sammie: My God, haven't you figured out that we're magic yet?!  
  
DA: But according to my research, mag-  
  
Sammie: Do you think I care about your "research?!"  
  
DA: Uh.  
  
Sammie: No! Now, I'm hungry. Give me some mystery meat!  
  
Malik: Sorry, none left.  
  
Sammie: Meh. Oh well. I'll live. Now, everyone. Single file. Let's go to the party!  
  
So Sammie, Kitkatz, Haleh, Yosh, Randi, Malik, Miss Frizzle, Carlos, Pheobe, Keesha, Dorothy-Ann, Ralphie, Arnold and Miss Frizzle's trusty iguana, Liz get into single file and begin to go down to the party!  
  
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Yes. I added Magic School Bus. Cool, eh. I always knew Tim wanted to die. It was obvious, wasn't it. This chapter is long and demented. But I like it like that, (I like it like that!) *Sammie runs around the room singing, you can tell her hyperosity is shooting out of the roof.* How bout Moon River? Mooooon Riiiiiver, la la la la la. I'm crossing you in styyyyle somedaaaay!  
  
Tara: And this is me, Kitkatz. She's actually doing that, you know. And you think I'm crazy? Uh, yeah. I came up with the magic school bus cross- thingy, so if ya du like it, yell at me. And read my fics because they are stupid aswell. Did you know that 50% of a pie is a quarter of the ratio of the sun crossing two km of the earth's atmosphere? YE HE HE HE HE HE HE HE HE HE HE HE HE HE HE HE HE HE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Sammie: That is mathamatically impossible. You can't say that. And with saying that, you made me stop singing Rainbow Connection. That's rude. I wanna go swimming now! It's hot!  
  
Tara: Okey Dokey Dokey PANIC!!! Ok. In the next chappie, is Sailor Moon coming?  
  
Sammie: What the--?? Sailor Moon? What next? Teenaged Mutant Ninga Turtles?  
  
Tara: That's a good idea.  
  
Sammie: Crap. I wasn't serious. Hmph. If you want Tara to keep writing, tell me in a review. I like reviews. Or you can email us. Sammie: happythehippo48@hotmail.com and Tara: kitkatz_starangel@hotmail.com So email us.  
  
Tara: Okey dokey dokey panic?!  
  
Sammie: Ta-ta! Hope you read the next part! 


	9. Metal Poles, Toad Using Unnecessary Expl...

The Series of Abnormal Events  
  
Chapter One: The Evil Antics of Dr. Weaver. Part nine. (Yes. I still call it chapter one.)  
  
*In announcer voice.* A chapter to cherish. A chapter like no other. Read The Series of Abnormal Events: Chapter Nine.  
  
Hee hee. Tara is here again. And a new chapter is here. Last chapter I only got 1 review. From Tara. That was slighly disappointing. But this story is mainly for me. So it isn't that disappointing after all. But I still like the reviews.  
  
Tara is writing this chapter with me again. Because it's finally the summer and there isn't anything better to do. Tara, to you. For your author's note.  
  
Tara: Hi it's me again. I hope u read this chapter, and the previous one, because it took a long time to write, a.  
  
Sammie: It took us an hour. Don't lie. And if they're reading this chapter, they've probably already read part 8.  
  
Tara: So? They both took lots of thought a.  
  
Sammie: We put in the MSB crew on a whim. That didn't take thought. Shut up, Tara. You're lying to their faces.  
  
Tara: Lying??? Me? HEY!!!!!!!!!! You stapled your toe!!!!!!! OOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWW that must hurt!!! I aint even lying!!! Gawd, that was really stupid of you Sammie.  
  
Sammie: The stapler fell on my toe. I didn't staple my toe. And it doesn't hurt anymore. So, meh. No more author's note for you!  
  
Thanks to Miranda, Chocki and Holie for listening to me and letting me listen to you! (See, it's not that hard Chocki.)  
  
Disclamer: You know, disclamers aren't as fun anymore. Tara kinda ruinded it. But they are still semi-fun. So here's the disclamer.  
  
Disclaimer Also: Nihao! Today, I am also the disclaimer again. And it's Tara (Kitkatz) by the way. Nobody owns the ER characters. They all have their own lives, so STOP EXPLOITING THEM NBC, AND WB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Sammie: Pretty good. Better than last time. But to clarify, a disclamer still isn't a person and the ER characters don't really exist. They belong to NBC and the WB. Also, all other characters , except Tara/Kitkatz and I, belong to a mish-mash of companies. But not us.  
  
Tara: WB also makes the Warner brothers, Yakko Wakko and the Warner sister, Dot.  
  
Sammie: Yes Tara. They do.  
  
Tara: !_! They do? Ohhhhh, I was only kidding though. Warner Brothers makes the Warner Brothers. Who woulda knew? So does Yakko, Wakko and Dot own ER?  
  
Sammie: They are fictional, Tara. FICTIONAL! Get it through your head. Right now, we are really off topic. I'm going to go to the story now.  
  
*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*  
  
Just to recap, the nurses and the crew from the magic school bus are finally on the roof of County General. All they have to do is go down the elevator. Knowing us, that will take us quite a few chapters. Or maybe just one. You have to read it! Mwa ha ha ha ha!  
  
The crew is having slight troubles making a single file line. Everyone wants to be first.  
  
Sammie: God, what is your problem? It's simple! Get into a line! It's been half an hour and we haven't even opened the door yet! Now get in line!  
  
Ms. Frizzle: Get behind me everyone!  
  
Tara: NO! THAT'S JUST A TRICK! I WANNA BE FIRST! I WANNA! I WANNA! I WANNAAAAA!  
  
Sammie: What's your problem? We're just getting in line! To get onto an elevator! It doesn't matter who's first!  
  
Everyone else: YES IT DOES!  
  
Sammie: Yeah right. It doesn't matter! If you guys care so much, I'll make the line!  
  
Tara: Let's have a face-off! Battle to the DEATH!  
  
A chorus of yesses emerges from the mob of angry people.  
  
Sammie: We don't need violence people!  
  
Tara: Can we do it if you get to go first?  
  
Sammie: Fine. But doesn't that defeat the purpose?  
  
Ms. Frizzle: So! What the hell! It's time to take chances, make mistakes and get bloody!  
  
Sammie: You always say, get messy!  
  
Ms. Frizzle: Time for a change!  
  
Ms. Frizzle reveals all the weapons on her.  
  
Ms. Frizzle: A switch-blade, a machete, a semi-automatic rifle, a cannon, a bow and arrow, a sword, a. uh. spiky ball on a stick, a yo-yo, numchucks, some bombs, weapons of mass destruction, X-rays.  
  
Sammie: X-rays?  
  
Ms. Frizzle: Yep. X-rays. Bricks, playing cards, pepper spray, cooking oil spray, grenades, gasoline, matches, lighters, fireworks, gags, body bags, poisonous frogs, flammable hairspray, big-ass needles.  
  
Carter: If you don't know what it is, you sure as hell shouldn't be using it.  
  
Tara: What are you doing up here?  
  
Carter: Now that you mention it, I don't know. I'm going now.  
  
Carter goes over to the door, opens it, walks into the elevator and shuts the door.  
  
Sammie: He said that to Pratt once.  
  
Randi: Ew. Pratt. Don't talk about him.  
  
Sammie: How 'bout we kill him then?  
  
Tara: Later. First we have to finish the battle to the DEATH!  
  
Sammie: Okay then.  
  
Ms. Frizzle: STOP INTERRUPTING ME! Coke, pepsi, acid, a bazooka, a hammer, a voo-doo doll of the principal, a noose, and some lipstick.  
  
As Ms. Frizzle takes out her weapons, Tara decides to summon Toad to be the referee.  
  
Tara: Ohhh Toad. We need you to ref our battle to the DEATH! Please come help us! Here are the magic words: ^$%^&%#$$^%#%^&!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Waves wand in the air). Hi Toad!  
  
Toad: (appears) What the %&#^%$&#$^&%$*%(&%*^$^%$^%&#%&$$^%&^%&^%&*(^&%^&%$^&$#%^#%^$^%&^%&^(&^*&)*&* ^&%^*&%$^&$%&*^%$(^%)*&^&^%&^%^%$%#$%#$^%^$%#%$&%$%#$#@$#@$$%(%&^%^*$%^%$%#% $#%&$$^%%$^$%^#$%#%$$%%$^$^%&$^%&$^&%$%^&#$%$#$@$#%$%^&$^%$^&$^!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!????? ???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? ??!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?????????????????????????????????????????? ???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????  
  
Tara: Yay! Toad, you're in the "Real World". Remember me? Kitkatz?  
  
Toad: Ohhhh. I remember you, you little %$&^&(#er! Why did you call me to this #@&***&ing hell hole? DIE KOOPA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Tara: We need a referee for our battle to the DEATH!  
  
Toad: Fine. I'll be your mother-%$#%*ing referee! Let me start.  
  
Toad walks over to the wall, pulls out a pipe and runs around like a maniac.  
  
Sammie: TARA! What the hell is Toad doing! He's going to kill somebody!  
  
Tara: Don't worry. He can be a bit hard to predict sometimes.  
  
Abby: Ohhh. He could be bi-polar!  
  
Sammie: Okay. Why do you people keep invading our scene! We'll come to you, soon enough. Now go!  
  
Abby: Fine. I'd rather plan the party.  
  
Abby does like Carter and leaves the roof.  
  
Pheobe: At my old school, mushroom people didn't run around with heavy metal poles, swearing like maniacs. And people from popular television shows, like ER, didn't come to life.  
  
Keisha: This isn't your old school!!! God! Nobody gives a rat's-butt! We don't go to your perfect "old school," okay? So shut up about it!  
  
Pheobe: I didn't know it bugged you so much. I'm really sorry.  
  
Tara: What? You'll be sorry? Because you'll lose? What? Is this a battle to the DEATH challenge???  
  
Ms. Frizzle: I say it is!  
  
Sammie: We don't need a battle to the DEATH! I don't want any law suits! Or any deaths. But that isn't as important to me as the law suits! I don't really have the money to do this. I'm gonna go down to the ER. When you guys have come to your senses, you can join me.  
  
Tara: What were you saying???  
  
Sammie: You. UGH!!! I can't believe this! WERE ANY OF YOU LISTENING TO ME?!?  
  
Arnold: I was. Kinda. Actually, I was thinking about how I should have stayed ho-  
  
Sammie: Arnold? ARNOLD?!? *She walks over to Arnold. He's lying on the ground in a very odd position. Blood is puddling aroung his head.* What the hell?!  
  
Tara: Um. Well, Toad tried to use him as a bell. But his head wasn't hollow.  
  
Toad: He was a little $^&$*&%*^$%%#!!!! I didn't do any %&$^%$ing thing wrong!!!  
  
Sammie: Okay. So, is he dead?  
  
Ralphie: Looks like it.  
  
Sammie: Anyone bother to check??? *Pause.* No? Fine then. *She bends down and tries to find a pulse.* EWWWW!!! I got blood on my new pants!!! And they're white!!! #@^&##^%$%^!!! *She runs off into the elevator screaming about her pants. (And they're actally capris. Really comfortable. Back to the fic.)  
  
Tara: So. Another one of you MSB people has died. Who is next? Is it you? *Points to Carlos.* Or you??? *Points to Pheobe.* Hmmm.  
  
DA: Elementary, my dear Watson. It will be.  
  
The nurses: Who? Who?  
  
DA: I don't know. I just thought it sounded cool.  
  
Yosh: You suck!  
  
Tara: Wanna place bets???  
  
Ms. Frizzle: I bet on all of them. I can't lose!  
  
Tara: Okaayyy. Special.  
  
Tara takes bets from everyone. And it isn't for the battle of the DEATH. But it is for death. Who will die next?? You can give a guess, or a suggestion. Arnold died on a whim. So can anyone else. Hehe.  
  
*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*/*\*  
  
Okay. This almost done part has been sitting here for awhile. I decided I should finish it. But it was without Tara. It's better to write together. You have more fun. But last time we wrote, we wrote The Cooking Show for Amateur Cookers. It is different. I think it's funny. And it involves farm animal noises. So read it, if you're up for a laugh. I'm gonna write a fic about evil kids. I've been babysitting. I can't do it anymore. Ew. Diapers. So a new fic about evil kids might be coming. But I don't actually write most of my ideas. It might come. Yeah. Next chapter up soon! Please, please r/r. I really need feedback. I've written a lot and look at what I have to show for it. As Tara and my motto goes, "Our goal is to bring humour to the depression which is ER fanfiction." Help us achieve our goal! 


End file.
